Some couples still love each other but don’t know how to find their way back to a satisfying erotic connection. They may hug, share a bed, laugh together, manage a home, care for each other, but sensual touch has disappeared from their connection. The expectation of sex may be there though, which can make attempts to reconnect sexually even more awkward, pressured, or loaded. Eventually, both may stop trying, not able to create a bridge between everyday affection and sensual

There is a communication challenge that shows up with almost every couple I know. It is universal, and surprisingly sneaky. It is the ability to know what we want and to ask for it clearly. One couple called it a "clean ask." I loved that phrase! Sounds simple? Well, not so easy to do. When we ask for what we truly want, we step into a very vulnerable place. It looks like this: First, we need to feel the desire. Then we have to allow it to exist without immediately judging it

Relationships are like flowers. They need care! Just like flowers need sun and nourishment, relationships need consistent attention. Most couples don’t think this way and therefore do not create time for that. They rely on their relationship to "just be," and inevitably get heartbroken when they start to crumble. Or they might even feel they do give their relationship enough attention. A kiss before work, a conversation over dinner, watching something together in the evening.