Blog Posts

There is a communication challenge that shows up with almost every couple I work with. It is universal, and often surprisingly sneaky. It is the ability to know what you want, and to ask for it clearly. One couple I worked with called it a “clean ask.” I loved that phrase. Sounds simple, right? But it's not so easy to do. When we ask for what we truly want, we step into a very vulnerable place. First, you have to feel the desire. Then you have to allow it to exist without imm

Every relationship needs care. Not because something is wrong, but because it is alive and changing. Just like the body needs nourishment and movement, a relationship needs attention. Not once in a while, but regularly. Most couples don’t really create time for that. They rely on what happens naturally. A kiss before work. A conversation over dinner. Watching something together in the evening. These moments matter. But they are often not enough to sustain a sense of closeness

What does sex look like after 3, 5, 10… 20, 30, 40 years together? …if love and respect are still there? Honestly? It looks a lot like everything else in life. Some days, you’re tired and want nothing. Some days, you feel anxious and reach for sex to feel wanted. Sometimes, something completely unrelated turns you on. A movie. A memory. A stranger walking by. There are moments when all you want is to be held… and then it slowly turns into something more. And there are moments

This past Friday, I had the pleasure of leading a live Zoom presentation: “3 Keys to Flourishing Intimacy.” . It was a beautiful...

Two people in intimacy are often like two different flowers. One thrives in warmth. Emotional connection, closeness, shared presence. The other needs space. Quiet. Time alone to feel grounded again. Both are natural. And then they find each other. When needs don’t match What do you do when your emotional and physical needs don’t naturally align with your partner’s? If you are the one who needs space to reset, how do you stay connected to a partner who feels nourished by close

Dear Couples, I want to share something I see again and again in my work. People come in different ways. Some arrive as a last step. They’ve tried therapy. Read the books. Listened to podcasts.They care about each other, sometimes deeply. But something is missing. Often, physical intimacy has faded or disappeared. Others come out of curiosity. They feel something could be better. One partner is usually more ready. The other is unsure, sometimes cautious. Both are normal. So w