3 Keys to Flourishing Intimacy: What I Shared in My Live Presentation

Zhanna Lee
May 10
3 min read

Updated: Jun 17

This past Friday, I had the pleasure of leading a live Zoom presentation: “3 Keys to Flourishing Intimacy.”. It was a beautiful experience to connect with couples, individuals, and curious hearts from all over—some new to this work and some already walking the path of conscious intimacy.

I wanted to take a moment to reflect and share some highlights here, in case you missed it—or if you’re simply curious.

So, what is intimacy?

I began by asking a question: What does intimacy mean to you?

If you’re partnered, ask each other. If you’re solo, write it down or just sit with it for a moment. What comes up when you hear the word intimacy?

Most people think of sex—and yes, that’s part of it. But what I teach, and what I’ve experienced through my years as a Holistic Sex & Intimacy Coach, is a much more expansive view.

Intimacy isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. Energetic. Sometimes even spiritual. It is how we touch, how we listen, how we show up—in pleasure, in conflict, in silence.

And it all starts with ourselves.

Flourishing Intimacy

Flourishing Intimacy isn’t just the name of my practice—it’s my vision.

It’s the kind of connection—physical, emotional, spiritual that doesn’t fade with time. It grows deeper, richer, more nourishing. Like a garden that keeps blooming year after year.

But it doesn’t happen on its own.

This kind of intimacy needs the right conditions. It needs care, patience, the right mindset... and skills. That’s what I teach.

The 3 Keys to Flourishing Intimacy

Key 1: Slow Down and Drop In

Most of us are moving way too fast to feel, enjoy, and truly connect. This first key is about slowing down, connecting to your five senses, and letting your body lead.

I guided a practice called Awakening Your Hands, where we touched an object as if we’d never felt it before. It’s amazing how much pleasure lives in your fingertips when you actually slow down.

Key 2: Separate Giving and Receiving

This one is huge. We’re often trying to do both at the same time—and no one ends up feeling fully nourished.

This key invites you to consciously choose when you're giving... and when you're receiving. We practiced this using a simple touch exercise inspired by the Three-Minute Game, rooted in Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent. When we’re clear on who something is for, everything shifts.

Key 3: Embrace Polarity

Intimacy thrives on closeness. But passion needs difference.

Masculine and feminine. Yin and yang. Shiva and Shakti. These aren’t gender roles—they’re energies within us. When we learn how to play with those polarities in a conscious way, we create spark, mystery, and attraction. In the presentation, I shared a Tantric meditation practice to help balance and activate these energies through the heart and other body’s energy centers – “chakras”.

Your Relationship Is a Garden

This is one of my favorite metaphors. Intimacy is like a garden, like a flower. You don’t force it to bloom—you nourish it. You provide the right soil, you give it light, you give it water. You create space for it to grow.

This work isn’t about performance or perfection. It’s about presence and curiosity. And choosing each other, again and again.

nourish it. You tend to the soil. You give it light and space to grow. This work isn’t about performance or perfection. It’s about presence, curiosity, courage, and choosing each other time and again.