What is available to a person who wants to improve their intimacy and sex these days?
️ ~ Books
~ Videos
~ Talk therapy
~️ Somatic bodywork
That is great, and….
️ There is very little available for couples who want to go beyond talking/listening/watching, without being physically or emotionally involved with anyone but their partner.
In other words, if you are not open to going to cuddle parties, sex clubs, Tantra festivals, clothes-optional workshops, etc., your resources are limited to therapy and self-education.
Yet most of us know that sustainable change in our body-mind-spirit is only possible through repeated real-life experiences.
If you are anxious about your performance in sex, no amount of talking will help you!
That is both good and bad news.
The good one - we can change, learn, and grow in all areas of our lives, including sex. You can ALWAYS become a better lover!
The bad one - if both you and your partner are lacking the essential skills in intimacy and sex, it can be very difficult to get out of the circle of confusion and disappointment …
Why therapy is not always effective?
Unless a therapist is also a coach, meaning teaching, guiding, and educating somatic practices is not a part of the process. In addition, therapists have to work within rigid professional or insurance guidelines which typically include short sessions and no touch policy.
Why somatic practitioner is not always the right answer?
Working with an experienced somatic practitioner has its pitfalls. It might be outside of the couple’s relationship agreement, against individual beliefs, hard to find, or not safe. Depending on where you live, these services can also be illegal or in the gray zone.*
*For example, Tantric massage and professional cuddling services are thriving in Europe, but are in a gray zone in most of the USA. And a surrogate partner therapy is only available under the supervision of a licensed therapist.
Sooo…
Another good news is... 😊
Holistic Intimacy Coaching offers a much-needed bridge for couples to learn the essential sex and intimacy skills in the safe container of an exclusive relationship.
It provides both safety and exploration. Knowledge, and experience. Space for all the emotions, and all the feelings.
It is an excellent training wheel for those who are willing to get trained!
As you probably saw in “Sex, Love and Goop”, intimacy coaching can be different.
Choosing the right coach is like choosing your yoga teacher!
Not all yoga styles and not every teacher will be right for you.
Do you want a more mellow style, or do you like heat and sweat? Do you need more explanations, or prefer silence?
It’s up to you to listen to yourself and to choose from within.
Here is what my Holistic Intimacy Coaching Style coming from a Tantric perspective looks like.
~ GUIDED COMMUNICATION PRACTICES
Imagine being seated in front of your partner, holding hands, relaxing together, practicing harmonizing breath techniques - even before any talking. Imagine being guided through important conversations – step by step, being supported through difficult emotions, learning how to be vulnerable with each other without disconnecting, and how to build a deeper connection.
~ GUIDED TOUCH PRACTICES
Everything is clothes-on during the sessions, however, you are encouraged to take your clothes off in the privacy of your own home. We use a massage table, a floor, or simply relaxing on a couch. There are dozens of touch techniques that most people never tried – from a subtle energetic touch to a tight embrace. All of those not only create different physical sensations but also different emotional responses. Most of us never had a space, or vocabulary to explore those ways to connect consciously…
~ IN-DEPTH SEX EDUCATION – from conversations and visual demonstrations (plastic models, pictures) to videos, books, and outside resources – all customized and beneficial to where you and your partner are at this period of your life.
~ THREE DAYS TO THREE MONTHS COACHING 'CONTAINERS' for you to heal, explore, and change from within.
Three-day Immersions are especially powerful. If you want to experience a transformation now – this is the way. Having a luxury and a space to be fully you - no filters, no interruption, flowing at your own pace, being supported each step of the way while learning together… is priceless! I had people resolving life-long issues through this powerful experience, and recommitting to a new life together.
A Three-Month program usually follows the Immersion, though some people start with it, and get amazing results! It depends on your commitment, circumstances (such as not being able to travel), and ability to focus. One of the benefits of this format – it can be done via ZOOM. Yes, it works too, and you might even appreciate it more as you can proceed to your home assignments right after a session!
~ TANTRIC HEALING
I believe that one of the most powerful practices a couple can learn to become better lovers is a Tantric massage. This deeply healing and connecting ritual can be learned during our Three-Day Immersion and continued into a monthly practice for the rest of your lives!
It can be simple, relaxing, and pleasurable, as well as emotional, and profound. “Sacred spot” massage (as created by the “grandparents” of Western Tantra in the USA Charles and Caroline Muir) can be an important part of this practice bringing more depth and power into the process. Its purpose is to clear your energy from previous traumatic or negative sexual experiences and to open an inner space for more connection and pleasure.
Can you say No to that?
Would you like to learn more?
Schedule your one-on-one Discovery Call, or join one of my events!
Warmly,
Zhanna.
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