A Letter from a Woman to Her Lover
Inspired by conversations with women who feel their desire slipping away…
Dear man,
You ask why I don’t want to have sex anymore.
You wonder if I’ve lost attraction to you, if something’s off with my libido, or if maybe life’s just too stressful. But if that were true—wouldn’t sex help me unwind?
Here’s the thing…
We’re from different planets, remember?
Even if it’s hard to believe right now… I miss sex.
I love sex. But only a certain kind…
What I miss is feeling savored, cherished in every way possible—soft, slow, deep, gentle touches, all wrapped in love. I miss being adored. Adored by your gaze, your words, your undivided attention, your small, thoughtful gestures. I crave the endless touches, kisses, cuddles, the eye gazing, the shared laughter and tears, the pleasure that’s deep and unrushed.
But I’m unsure how to find our way back to that.And even less sure of how to invite you there.
You always seem in a rush—to get an orgasm, to give me an orgasm, to have sex…
So I follow your lead and drift away from my own body.
I become tangled in worries…
Will it take forever for me to feel aroused?
Will I disappoint you?
Will you grow impatient?
Will you notice that I’ve changed, that my body has changed?
But most of all, I wonder if I deserve the care and love I’m longing for…
It might be hard to imagine, but my sexuality is slower, more winding. My body feels different each day, shifting with hormones, the rhythms of my own moon cycles, different times of day, different times of the month…
Sometimes it’s just exhausting.
And so, I give up.
I stop asking for what I really need……to be touched, without a goal.…to be adored.…to be kissed—slowly.…to be held—completely.
I close myself off. I let you take the lead.
We sleep.
We repeat.
Until I stop wanting sex. That kind of sex.
Ready to become the sensual lover she desires?
Join my Tantra workshops or enroll in the Find Your Bliss program program to transform your love life—forever.
With love,
Zhanna.
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