A letter from a woman to her lover
*inspired by conversations with women who stop wanting sex.
Dear man...
You ask me why I don't want to have sex anymore...
You are worried that I might not be attracted to you, or that something is wrong with my libido...
Or maybe my life is too stressful these days...but, in this case - wouldn't sex help me to relax?!
Well...
We are from different planets, remember?
Even if you might not believe it right now... I miss sex.
I love sex!
But only a certain kind...
What I miss is being savored…
Touched in all possible ways - soft, slow, deep, light. And most importantly, with love.
I miss being adored. With your eyes, words, undivided attention, your sweet and thoughtful gifts.
I am craving an eternity of touching, kissing, cuddling, eye gazing, sweet tears, belly laughing, and being lost in pleasure.
But I'm not sure how to get there.
And even less - how to invite you there.
You always seem in a rush...
To have an orgasm, to give me an orgasm, to have sex...
I follow your lead, and then I lose my body.
I become concerned about thousands of things.
.. will it take me forever to get aroused?
...will I disappoint you?
...will you get tired?
... will you get impatient?
...what if you notice I've gained weight...?
But most of all: what if I don't deserve all this care and love...?
I know it might be hard for you to imagine... But my sexuality is slower than yours.
My body is changing all the time...My hormones, my moon cycles, different times of the day, different times of the month...
It's exhausting!
So, I give up.
And I stop asking for what I need the most.
... being touched in all possible ways...
.... being adored...
... being kissed - slowly
.. being hugged - for a long time...
I close off. I let you do your thing.
We go to sleep.
We repeat it.
Until I stop wanting sex.....that kind of sex.
Want to learn how to be a sensual lover and give her what she wants?
Join my Tantra workshops or sign up for a Find Your Bliss program and transform your love life forever!
Love,
Zhanna.